Will I ever learn?

Sometimes things just don’t work out as planned. On the teleseminar last week, just as I was on a roll, I got dropped. Well thankfully my colleagues picked up the reigns and I was able to jump back in right where I left off. No biggy. BUT this past weekend when I had to cancel my fire circle event ….I was sooooooo upset. It wasn’t my fault. I had no control over the 80% rain forecast. But when it didn’t rain a drop till late evening, I felt horrible. I ruined the plans of many, I didn’t set up a good communication system if we did have to cancel and I should have, could have done anything , something, to have planned better. Whoa, massive mind breakdown!!! Well, I saw it. I saw my inability to just let go. My mind didn’t want to disappoint people. That voice in my head felt overly responsible and wasn’t very kind to me. Once again I did my best to see what I needed to do to quiet that crazy voice. I started with what did it want for me? What could I learn? How can I be better next time? And how can I have more compassion for myself. Jeez, it wasn’t even my fault. Darn weather guys!
Well I am devising a new plan so next time it is much easier to communicate a cancelation. AND I will also have a backup plan of some sort. In fact some of us ended up at a local restaurant listening to some live music.
I am still learning. I am grateful I can hear the voice, see the purpose of it and move through the mind drama faster now than years ago. Wasn’t fast enough this time but hey, I am still human!!!
Oh, and when it did downpour, I laughed so hard that I did indeed make the right call. Now to not have the hours of torture before. Oy!!!

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