Recently, my boyfriend and I had an uncomfortable thing happen. The details are private and not mine to share so I need to be a bit vague. Thanks for understanding.
The message I will share though is HUGE!
So this thing happened and I felt my stomach in knots. I felt scared. I wasn’t sure what to do.
It’s not the first time I experienced this thing with him.
On the one hand, I trust him implicitly, we have so much fun, deep love and our relationship is golden.
On the other hand there is this thing that doesn’t really fit my lifestyle. Something I don’t like. There is something that happens and most likely will happen again.
When it reared it’s ugly head, I found myself very uncomfortable. Not only was my stomach upset, I felt sad and my fear grew.
Good to notice right?
I used to eat a ton of food to soothe myself when conflict happened. I needed to numb out. Now I choose to feel it all.
It’s so important to feel. Our feelings guide us. It’s not pleasant to feel fear or sadness or anger or shame. The alternative to numb out just isn’t an option for me.
Avoiding my feelings hurt me. Not only was I extremely overweight, I was unhappy and there was a high price to pay in my marriage by not speaking up.
So here’s what I think is important to this share- after feeling my feelings, my fear, my sadness my discomfort– a voice in my head said I will be fine. I will make the best choices for myself. Bottom line… I TRUST MYSELF.
I know now that after many relationships, at the end of the day, I will never allow something to hurt me. I will always take care of myself.
If you want to hear more about trust and starting over in love, check out this 10-minute special podcast episode I did. If you want deeper intimacy, trust is huge. Check it out here.
Much love, Junie
