How is your garden coming along?
Have the seeds of love started to sprout for you yet?
Just as a lush, bountiful garden takes a certain degree of commitment, so does showing up for your dreams…showing up for your passions… showing up for what matters most to you in the garden of life you are creating for yourself right now.
The most magical thing about midlife is that you know what you don’t want, right? And, you want to change some things so that your life feels more joy-filled, grounded, and fun.
It’s a great time to prepare your Love Garden for next-level action!
It’s also a great time to get crystal clear about your North Star. If you don’t know where you’re headed, you’re not going to get there. It’s easy to get sidetracked and get lost as you navigate the dating and relationship world.
My last blog was about the importance of clarity. This week is about planting the Seed of Commitment and what that actually means.
Without this seed of commitment, there is the huge possibility you’ll get off course and lose time – and you know how precious time is.
You need to have a plan and clarity so you know where you’re headed. Using your inner GPS will help you stay the course.
Sometimes life throws some curveballs at you so this is uber important to stay the course. You never know exactly what’s going to happen, or how long it’s going to take before you find that person that’s going to make you thrilled.
Some things may be in flux. Dates come and go. Profiles get tweaked here and there. Switching apps to see what works best is common. So knowing where you’re headed helps with your follow-through.
Once you have found your North Star, decided on the direction you’re headed, and plant that seed of commitment to follow through with it, then you can readjust to life’s little curve balls and find another way to make your plan happen.
How to commit to a plan and follow it through:
1. Locate your North Star: The best thing about dating in mid-life is that you definitely know what you don’t want! You have gotten clear about your goals and desires…now use your North Star as an inner compass to keep you focused on the end goal—NEXT LEVEL LOVE
2. Keep Going: Identify the negative patterns that have hurt you in the past and recognize how you have sabotaged past relationships. Notice what’s been happening when you interact with dates, your texting habits, your anxiety levels, and your “go-to” patterns when it comes to dating online.
- Do you go full blast and then stop?
- Do you push men away?
- Do you overthink everything and stress?
You need to shine a light on those patterns and course correct. You might fear rejection, and so you avoid or procrastinate.
Just being aware that you have patterns is a great accomplishment! Now you need to get clear about your patterns, how you want to show up, what you’re desiring, and take some steps to shift that accordingly. Don’t let past Gremlins take you off course!
3. Expect the unexpected!: When life hands you lemons…make margaritas! (It’s 5 pm somewhere!) Dating is probably never going to go exactly as planned, but if you know what you want, and commit to making it happen…then don’t worry if you have to take a detour to get back on track. It might take you a little longer to get where you are going but the road is rarely straight.
Everything happens in its own time. Sometimes what you think is a pitfall, is actually a bullet dodged! Just remember the direction of your North Star and stay committed!
It’s like deciding to get more exercise and taking a walk to Staples. Suddenly, an unexpected event happens…you run out of time…you need to jump in an Uber…it starts to rain…but you eventually get there! You may not arrive in the way you had first imagined, but you got there nonetheless. The same goes for Love.
And, going forward in your next relationship, having the confidence, the clarity and the commitment to follow through with what’s important to you will get you that love upgrade that your heart deserves and desires.
Just keep going!